Where darkness lies
by Changer the Elder
Summary: An unusual take on the usual process feast preparations.


**Where Darkness Lies…**

Changer the Elder

**Summary:** This is how it looks when an author goes nuts at 3 AM, takes all their unused quotes and puts them into one single story. And then turns the lights off.

**Author's Note:** This one's written just for fun. I wanted to try out the character interactions and figure out how well the readers' imagination can work. I do not claim any profit, since characters presented are an unfortunate property of Marvel Inc.

_Italics_ marks foreign language

_'Italics'_ marks a thought

_**'Bold Italics'**_ marks telepathic communication

* * *

Darkness. Everything was buried in thick, black darkness.

"Hey, Cajun, you seem ta have nothin' better to do, hand me those pins!"

"_Quoi_?! Okey, two questions, _mon ami_: w'ere da Hell are you and w'ere da pins?"

"I'm here, pins are there."

"Hand 'em yourself, den!"

"Hey...wait. Turn right and stretch yer hand. Now, great, that's my leg, so move yer palm 'bout five inches right....great, now lemme introduce ye to the one yer huggin' so tight: fifth step of the stepladder. Now turn yerself around, make about three steps and-"

"_Merde_! OUCH!"

"...And ye gonna trip over the coffee table."

"What did I just 'nock down?"

"Ah, nothin', just a string roll an' scissors."

"Hey, but I am about to need those!"

"Don' worry, Cyke, I'll find 'em later. Gumbo, you there alive or have ye just dropped dead on the table?"

"I'm 'ere."

"Well, that's great, you got those pins?"

"_Non._"

A sigh. Ten sound of metal clinging on metal. A creak of the stepladder. "'Ro, darlin', you're near there, could you hand me those pins?"

"And where exactly that 'near' is, Wolverine?"

"Well....kinda further near."

"You'd make an excellent cartographer, you know that?"

A scoff with a bit of accent could be heard. "_Was? Was_ would he make? I kant believe my ears." It seems that for some sarcasm was, is and will be a foreign language.

"Keep yer yap to yerself or I'm about to hang you by the tail inna doorframe! 'Ro, you go right....wait, no. The other right."

"Would you make up your mind, please?!"

"_Mein Gott,_ they hadn't even taught him _wo _ist right and left."

Laughter.

"Oh yeah, damn funny. Like YOU never made a mistake before."

"_Non._ At least not like..."

"You wanna make me throw that hammer at you, don'tcha?"

"He... you would miss!"

"Try me. I see pretty good in the dark... which is something ye really can't say 'bout yerself."

Silence.

"I have the pins!" _**'Thank you, Jean.'**_

_**'You're welcome'**_

"Great... good t'know someone's got a brain 'round here."

"Hey, I've 'eard dat!"

"That was the idea."

"Don't make me cool your heads manually..."

A nervous gulp, then silence again.

"Could I somehow get rid of those pins?"

"Oh, right, sorry. Three steps to the left and you gonna bump into the stepladder."

"Not literally, I hope."

"I would never do that to ya, darlin'"

"No, you're doin' dat just to **me**."

"I have a reason fer that. Ah, here, thanks."

A hollow thump could be heard, followed by a silent curse.

"Who had this brilliant ahdea to turn the light off?! Ah'm gonna kill mahself back here!"

"You know it yourself, when we turn the lights back on, we'll expose ourselves to the Professor."

"Yeah, Ah know. But at least a candle would be of help."

"Well, you should have proposed that earlier. Maybe next time."

"Jean, how's the game down there, anyway?"

"Professor has six pieces left, Beast has five, but including the queen. Oh, and he says hello."

"Hello to him, too"

„I do the same."

„_Ich auch_."

"Tell him later. I'm not an operator."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"It's alright, honey."

"Henpeck."

"Don't say that, Robert. Even you might get in my place one day."

"IAAaaa, Peter! You are standing on my tail!"

„_Izvinitje_, did I hurt you?"

„Did you castrate him?"

„_Ein Moment, Herr LeBeau, ich schlitze Sie sogleich._"

"What did he just say?"

"Trust me, Gumbo, you don' wanna know. But I'd back off as far as I could if I were ye."

"Okey, okey, backing off. Like I never..."

BANG!

„Uaargh!"

CRASH.

"Fine... what was the first and what was the second?!"

"_Excuse moi_, I stepped on a balloon...I guess..."

"You stinkin' swamp rat! I'll rip ye apart! Ye have any idea how startled I was?!"

"Hm, so much that you fell of the stepladder. Wait, where's your hand. Here, get up."

"Hrrrmpf."

"A simple 'thank you' would do as well."

"Oh yeah. Thanks."

"Curses!"

"Don't tell me there are still guys that use that as a swear?!"

"Hush, Iceman. What was it, Jean?"

"The chess! They called it quits. They're heading upstairs!"

"Well, we're done, aren't we?"

"Almost! Peter, hide the stepladder. Logan, dump the trash out of here."

"And should I take Drake as well?"

"Sounds interesting, but won't be necessary."

"So, are we done?"

"Hopefully."

"So get in line!"

"Hey, that foot is mine!"

"Get your elbow out of my ribcage and then we might talk about my foot on yours.

"But the elbow isn't mine!"

"No, it's mine."

"I don't care whose it is, I just don't want it anywhere near my ribs!"

"Ah warn the owner of that nosey hand Ah'll arrange his face a meeting with mah fist if he won't retreat!"

"Rogue, please, calm down. We really don't need to go taking someone off the Jupiter."

"Silence now, they're close."

"Okay."

„I said silence!"

„And I said okay!"

…

…

…

…

"Hey, who's that panting on my six?!"

"Not me."

"Me neither."

"I'm not even close."

"And I'm even further."

„I don't care who isn't! I care who is!"

"Stop that already!"

"Alright."

"Fine"

"Hush.... it will start soon..."

"Yeah..."

**...and this is where usually, the fun begins...  
**


End file.
